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Leaning over I get a better view of a gang of older kids, probably juniors or seniors or maybe both. They’re huddled together passing something around. Two boys have cigarettes hanging out of their mouths, most of the girls were in the skimpiest of outfits. Then a girl stumbles backward and laughs. The rest of the group breaks out in laughter and couple of the kids almost fall over in their high state of mind. Then it occurs to me they’re doing drugs. What a convenient place to do so. In my depressed state of mind, I can’t help wondering what feeling that happy for a while might feel like. Then I notice one of the boys catch my eye. He smiles and winks at me…his invitation to join the party. I know my scowl is less than believable, so I make good time hurrying around the side of the building. My walk home is filled with confusing thoughts. Echoes of cold-hearted voices rattle in my head and I’m unable to block them out. They penetrate my mind, lowering my self-esteem and knocking me. I will send you a picture of me in the outfit involved (no, not just the lingerie!).After my first affair with Tom, we kept sending texts to each other. I had to become more tech-savvy about hiding signs of my recent "escapades". I knew we would meet again at a soon to come convention and I could hardly wait. It was not love but the thrill of this very sexual encounter was so new to me, I thought about it all the time. Waiting for almost a month was very hard. I surprised myself several times touching my body while thinking about him. As the days came near I was thinking about what clothes to pack but had to wait until the last minute. I did not want to let my husband see that I was packing two different silk and lace nightgowns, various garter belts and even a corset. It would have been a bit suspicious. It was ridiculous as my husband is used to seeing me pack these items but my guilty conscience was playing tricks on me.For the flight to the conference, I wore comfortable jeans.
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